Being a "creative" sometimes feels more like a curse than a blessing.
Gone are the days where I could shut out the world when the Muse came to visit me.
Now I find myself telling her, "Ack! I can't! My kid needs me! Just wait right there, in the corner of my mind, while I do mom stuff..."
Pssshhtt! She waits for NO ONE.
I used to have a problem with tapping into that creative, inspired wavelength. I couldn't figure out how to see it, and how to recognize it. I suffered from "writer's block" (which I realize some people don't even believe in). Now, I know how to access it. I figured it out!! But, I still have this whole other life that is sadly counter-intuitive to my deepest desires.
I'm no longer a disgruntled youth on an aimless path. I KNOW what I want and how to get it. I conquered one of the hardest feats. I just simply do not have the time to do what is needed to be done. I don't have children who just do their own thing (I think there are some kids who do that, though I would call them Unicorns). My kids need my attention 24/7 and I do not work a 9 to 5 anymore. My husband does that, and I try hard to keep my little monsters alive, every damn day.
Lately I've been feeling MEGA inspired. Inspired to try my hand at self producing my music again. Inspired to write lyrics that will reach a broader audience (and not just appeal to sad bastards like myself). Inspired to even branch outside of music to begin achieving my goals of comedic acting and screenwriting for film and T.V.
As a hardcore INFP, I find myself suffocating emotionally. Precious alone time to be creative, or to be nothing and do nothing, and to re-charge myself is not as often as I need it to be. It's a wonder that I have time to write this blog entry. But, as I said earlier in the year - my word this year is: PERSEVERE.
And that is what I shall do.