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Procrastination, Distraction, and Renewed Motivation 


For the past few months I have been seriously distracted from making music. I've been reading a lot. In addition to reading old fashioned books, I've only now just begun to get into audiobooks! And wow! I'm hooked. I find myself reading at least two traditional books, and listening to one audio book at a time. I have also stayed consistent with my independent French lessons (need to take everything up a notch). I've also been working really hard on my fitness and nutrition. And just...living my life! I've found a good rhythm with my new isolation routine.

All this has left little room for recording and working on songs for my new EP.

Until recently...

I've made the switch over to Apple products for recording, and I am using Garage Band for the first time. Still trying to get used to it. My full set up should be up and running by the end of the week (hopefully). The last two weeks I've been laying down the foundation for more than half of the tracks on the new record. I am still pinching myself a little that I am going to be collaborating with one of my favorite musicians/producers: my brother. 

I started out my music career by just writing poems. Then, when I felt inspired, I would come up with vocal melodies for them. At that time, I didn't play any instruments or have any knowledge of composing a song, or recording it. But, my brother did that stuff. He made music around two top lines that I wrote. And it was magic. I started to get the bug, but at the same time, his passion for music began to cool off. He encouraged me to learn an instrument and create my own music. So, I gave that a go. But, here we are, returning almost full circle to my brother taking the wheel (mostly). But this time, it will be a full collaboration. I will exhaust my creativity with each song, and invite him in to refine what I've done.

This will hopefully give me the confidence and experience that I can use to embark on fully producing my own songs...someday.

Every day I feel inspired to add something to a track. If I'm not adding anything, I listen back and I play with ideas. I'm having fun and enjoying the process. This next record is going to be about so much more than the music. I'm also exploring and brainstorming about the art that will surround and support the music. The art, the design, all the visuals, the message, etc. will be part of a carefully curated artist collective.

Currently Reading: Lolita by Vladamir Nabokov, and Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue Book 1 
Currently Listening to: Unknown Mortal Orchestra, UPSAHL, Ellie Goulding, Ane Brun
Currently Learning: French and GarageBand
Currently Watching: Blown Away (series)

And feeling so grateful for this life, grateful for my family, and grateful for my passions and my ability to pursue them.
 

Inspiration? 

Being a "creative" sometimes feels more like a curse than a blessing.

Gone are the days where I could shut out the world when the Muse came to visit me. 
Now I find myself telling her, "Ack! I can't! My kid needs me! Just wait right there, in the corner of my mind, while I do mom stuff..."

Pssshhtt! She waits for NO ONE.

I used to have a problem with tapping into that creative, inspired wavelength. I couldn't figure out how to see it, and how to recognize it. I suffered from "writer's block" (which I realize some people don't even believe in). Now, I know how to access it. I figured it out!! But, I still have this whole other life that is sadly counter-intuitive to my deepest desires.

I'm no longer a disgruntled youth on an aimless path. I KNOW what I want and how to get it. I conquered one of the hardest feats. I just simply do not have the time to do what is needed to be done. I don't have children who just do their own thing (I think there are some kids who do that, though I would call them Unicorns). My kids need my attention 24/7 and I do not work a 9 to 5 anymore. My husband does that, and I try hard to keep my little monsters alive, every damn day. 

Lately I've been feeling MEGA inspired. Inspired to try my hand at self producing my music again. Inspired to write lyrics that will reach a broader audience (and not just appeal to sad bastards like myself). Inspired to even branch outside of music to begin achieving my goals of comedic acting and screenwriting for film and T.V. 

As a hardcore INFP, I find myself suffocating emotionally. Precious alone time to be creative, or to be nothing and do nothing, and to re-charge myself is not as often as I need it to be. It's a wonder that I have time to write this blog entry. But, as I said earlier in the year - my word this year is: PERSEVERE. 

And that is what I shall do.